The End, Part 2

So after a month on the road, I am home again. It feels weird to be here, like I should be packing up to leave to go somewhere else soon. Fortunately, the reception at home did not encourage this, so I'm here to stay.

For the remainder of the trip, I was hellbent to just get home, so I can summarize as follows:

Tennessee: Humid, Southern, friendly. As I predicted, the traffic did not let up from Little Rock through Fairfax County, and it was pretty stinking heavy through TN.

North Carolina: Beautiful mountains to drive through. Need to visit Asheville again; on first glance, it seems like a Boulder with more humidity and Mr. The King on the telly all the time. Also: a Ferrari-Maserati dealership in Greensboro. Really? How is that possible? I have questions.

Virginia: Home, but wasn't for another day. Traveled I-85 to 58 to Norfolk to home, all familiar territory, and backwater as hell. Sorry, but it is.

THEMES
I would be remiss without some reflection here. I was gone a long time and logged 7,254 miles total, after all. Here are some things that stood out.

1. Drink some goddamned water. We spent most of our time in the arid West, so as they tell you, one can get dehydrated pretty quickly. I did get sick at least twice, even with Greg supplying all 3 of us labeled water bottles (still have them! used them the whole time!). Of course this stopped when we hit Memphis. There is enough water in the air already. Which brings us to...

2. Altitude. Jesus, breathing even a mile up in the air is hard for me. Hothouse flower, or out of shape, I'm not sure. But it took me at least 5 days to adjust. I really take for granted the abundance of oxygen here. HOWEVER, I had no sinus headaches, so score 1 for Altitude.

3. Shade. As I said before, you need shade out West. Find some or bring it yourself. 'Cause you'll want it everywhere.

4. Wisdom of Italian ladies: When horseback riding in Bryce, Lily and John talked to an Italian lady and her daughter who were visiting the whole country. Their impressions sum up what we found as well: the food generally sucks - that is, it's difficult to find healthy food, and the country is BIG. Indeed, it was hard to find anything remotely healthy on the road - anything close to the highway was all fast food, and even Subways are few and far between. We ate well in cities/towns, once we got down to the local level, but picnics might be the way to go. Speaking of healthy food...

5. Kale. Now, I realize kale is trendy, but being Southern, kale is considered something to eat when you can't afford anything else or you're being punished. I do appreciate everyone's efforts but... no.

6. Trains. In every town. Saw HUGE trains carrying double-decker cargo, and heard whistles everywhere. Reminded me of home, which is a good thing.* Speaking of transportation...

7. Turns on a dime. The engineering marvel of the '08 Honda Odyssey should not be underestimated. This tank took us everywhere, over speed, through all sorts of climates, without any issue. Held all our gear, lots of storage, and absorbed spills without complaint. Those 15 cupholders were employed. And, due to its short wheel base, it does indeed turn on a dime - useful when the fine folk of California need to know how DC drivers take left turns in the middle of a wide street. Which brings us to...

8. People on the coasts are pretentious assholes. Really, once you got inland, and except for Chicago, people were very nice and considerate. We had an easy time of it until we hit California, then the usual dickishness in the form of crazy driving became apparent. I mean, just as we crossed the state line from Nevada. In the desert. With no difference but a border crossing. Jerks.

9. Gas. It was a little weird how many gas stations were recently closed. We got to the point where we didn't pull off for gas unless we saw at least 3 stations - because 1 or 2 of them would surely be shuttered.

10. WPA. Part of my goal for this trip was to collect WPA posters from each park we visited, and I did that in spades. We had rolls shoved everywhere in the car. I think I got 12.

And finally, the biggest theme...

11. This is a big goddamned country. You don't get that from flying over it, or studying a map. You just have to drive it. And, say, want to be home while in Oklahoma BUT YOU CAN'T BECAUSE YOU HAVE 3 MORE DAYS OF DRIVING TO DO. It's that kind of big.

Seriously, there is space for everyone; no need to crowd in cities. It's amazingly diverse both in landscape and in people, and it's fascinating to see how this country evolved and where people landed and why. For example, there were so many old people in Santa Monica - I'm guessing Dust Bowl refugees or people escaping to sunny California after WWII. There were big and small migrations here and there that explain why a lot of people live where they do.

We also went through the country really really fast. We didn't spend enough time in a few places; we want to go back to San Diego, the Black Hills, Asheville, Albuquerque, Memphis, and of course LA and Vegas.

On the way home, I stopped by my parents' house. My mother asked me, "so, in all this traveling, you didn't see a better place to live, did you, than Virginia?"

Oh HELL yes. Va is just one place to be amongst many. I guess that's a good takeaway and place to end this blog. Thanks for coming along.   : >

* "home" - interchangeable between Norfolk and Oakton, depending on context.

Memphis, in the Meantime

I'm trying to figure out why there are so many songs about Memphis, when there should be more songs about air conditioning in Memphis. Granted I have been in dry heat for a month, but CHRIST ON A CRACKER IT IS FUCKING HUMID HERE! But, we are back in the South, as the many Krispy Kreme trucks and Walgreens can attest.

ANYhoo, it's been a couple of days of hard travel. Yesterday was probably the worst, with leaving Albuquerque early and heading to... Oklahoma City. And being too tired and late to even get a steak in steaktown. However, we did have a nice green-chili-laden breakfast in Old Town ABQ. And I add New Mexico to the list of places we didn't spend enough time, flash floods notwithstanding.

For the rest, I can summarize as follows:

Texas: shithole. As a bonus, passed a slaughterhouse/holding pen for cattle, and OH MY CHRIST please people buy organic grass fed beef or don't eat it at all. I love my steak, but seeing dozens of cows dead or dying along with others waiting for the conveyor belt was disgusting. And you know they're gonna shove them on the conveyor belt too. Clearly, I did not mess with Texas. However, one saving grace were the dozens (hundreds?) of windmills everywhere.

Oklahoma: why? land rush in 1840-something? I don't get it. The landscape was kinda pretty, but, jesus, either go west or stay east. Make a decision before another dust bowl hits.

Arkansas: not the shithole we expected; however, traffic really cranked up on I-40 around Little Rock and hasn't let up now that we're in Memphis. And I have a feeling it won't let up from here on out. Landscape was actually pretty. I didn't realize how much I missed green, as in, actual grass and trees. Arkansas, your hick reputation has been somewhat repudiated.

And POOF just across the border we're in Memphis, which is like a giant Norfolk but with barbecue and brass horns and streetcars. That is, an old Southern city that saw its heyday 80 years ago and is trying to come back. I think Memphis has a better chance, but they need to bring something to the hundreds of empty storefronts downtown. Art school? University? Large naval base? Something. Call me, I have ideas.

Of course we ate meat - ribs - at a local place called Rendezvous - first time having dry-rubbed ribs. I was skeptical, but they were pretty good. Kerri confirms that they were some of the best out there.

To step back a bit, the problem with taking 6 days to cross the country - as opposed to a more humane 10+ days - is that we just don't have time to see everything along the way that we want to. We have to keep moving so we actually make progress and get home. So in Memphis, we got a shot of Graceland from the outside, and we were too late for the Mud Island monorail by the time we got to the hotel. Of course tomorrow is a long haul across the entire state of Tennessee, possibly crossing the Smokies into NC (haven't figured that out yet), so we can't take the time to linger here. And given my affinity for Pigeon Forge (don't judge me, dammit), that will continue.

It's ok. I'm ready to go home. 2 1/2 days away.

BONUS: it really is too convenient that his name is "Weiner"... I mean COME ON.

I AM the Danger, Skyler!

Today we rolled into Albuquerque, home of Breaking Bad. This is not lost on me as the van is full of so much gear from this trip that I hope to hell it’s not been broken into. Additionally, if Indians Native Americans are selling tourists bags of blue rock candy around the mission tomorrow, I will be sorely disappointed.

But I digress. It’s been 3 days since our last post, and in that time Kerri has arrived. We spent a good chunk of Friday eating and walking around Santa Monica, because we needed a lazy day. We were also too lazy to go back to the beach and so hung around our Melrose-Place-like apartment hotel with the pool in the middle. That night we drove John and Lily to LAX, whereby they were promptly back in VA and in bed by the time we woke up in LA.

I also want to mention that we saw only ONE Tesla out in the wild. On the way to DC in the mornings I usually see one, so I’m calling California on its environmental crap.

EARLY start on Saturday because Kerri had jet lag and made me get up early, and we had a good 8-hr drive to the South Rim of the Grand Canyon. Because I just can’t get enough of a big hole in the ground. Seriously, Kerri has never seen the parks out west, and this one is sure to bowl her over, which it did. Unfortunately she toured herself since I managed to snag a migraine on the way, in between monsoons. Still made the dinner at El Tovar that I booked a month ago, tho.

Felt better by this morning, and we took our time at the GC Visitor’s Center where I snagged 2 more WPA posters. From there, a long drive to the Petrified Forest NP, and then back on I-40, where seriously, a flash flood shut down the road. AND WE WERE IN IT.

Actually the water never got over an inch around US, but still, damn. There was debris all over the road and traffic was backed up for miles. Fortunately we were the 4^th car in and got to see all the drama. A few cars with NM tags tried to sneak up on the tiny shoulder (also filling up with water), which leads me to condemn all NM drivers as douchebags.

Also, a tire blew on a rig beside us and it fishtailed. Could have done without that.

Which brings us to a late night in Albuquerque. Kerri and I were both beat, so we just ate Mexican at the hotel’s restaurant. Also it being Sunday night, this town shuts down so our dining options were limited. Tomorrow we’ll take a look at Old Town ABQ before heading out to 2 days of pure driving: through Amarillo, to OK City, to Little Rock, and finally Memphis. For those of you snickering, this is actually the Thelma and Louise route IN REVERSE. And we are running out of mesas to sail off of.

Also, we’re realizing just how hard it is to spend all day driving. It will be a long couple of days here soon. Perhaps Memphis will make it worthwhile. And then we will be back in the Southland.

Random thoughts:

1.       Music: Love is Blue by Paul Meurat will mess with your head on I-40’s high desert, in much the same way Radiohead will. Metal, however, will assist the drive through a monsoon.

2.       Sadness factor: pretty high since we’re on I-40 through AZ, NM, TX, and OK, which ALSO happens to be, in most spots, Route 66, or "The Mother Road." Route 66 is decrepit in places, preserved in a few, but mostly it sits there beside I-40 as a testament to westward expansion in the 20th century much like the Oregon Trail ruts testified to wagon caravans in the 19th. The movie Cars can explain all this.

3.       I am done with National Parks for a good long time. I believe this makes 11 total for me. Guh. Although the annual pass has more than paid for itself.

4.       This thing can turn on a DIME. I have a newfound respect for the ’08 Honda Odyssey.

The End, pt.1

Today is the day that Lily and I fly back from LA (redeye flight at 11pm).
The trip from SD to LA was about what we expected.

We're staying at this cool old hotel named Cal-Mar.  The rooms are little apartments and the feel of the place is very 50s-60s.  A place Don Draper might stay for a while in Santa Monica.  Pretty much all we did here is the beach (the water, like everywhere else we've been, is cold, cold, cold.  what the hell, it's july in the desert, why is the water cold?) and the Santa Monica pier for Lily's first official rollercoaster ride.  She hated it. She liked the Ferris Wheel, however, and the hot chocolate and the popcorn.  She did NOT like coming in second on the carnival race game where she could have won an evil Minion from Despicable Me 2.

Clare enjoyed the Tesla dealership a couple blocks away immensely.

Today Clare's friend Kerri comes in from Norfolk to accompany her back across the country, so we'll probably have some more beach time and the ceremonial passing of the car keys before we fly back.

At the end of this trip, I have to reflect a bit.  A vacation like this takes so much involvement, effort, time that if you don't come out of the other end of it changed a bit, you might feel a little let down.  A week at the beach doesn't demand anything of you and doesn't necessary give you anything but a break, that's what it's for.

A car trip across the country demands patience and imagination and teamwork and, sometimes, just plain work.  What has this given me/us?

Perspective, certainly. The sheer size of this country, the variety of landscapes, the variety of experience just looking around and walking around removes any thought that where we live is representative of the country as a whole.  Nowhere is.  

A sense of where I do and do not fit.  I could live anywhere we've been, but i don't want to be talked to as much as these friendly bastards what to talk to me.  I'm decidedly East Coast that way.  I don't fit in the small towns, in the bleached out western villages filled with strip malls, cactus and sand.  I'm surprised (for the 2nd time) that I liked Denver, even though John Elway is all that is wrong with the world.  I don't fit with the hippies or hipsters or granolas that live there or boulder, but the parts of the city they live in are nice. i can see the reason Clare's desire to walk to places, having options for the daily items that you need in your day within a few blocks of where you live.

A sense of accomplishment, we've done things.  We've not passively vacated, we've driven places, walked miles and miles, climbed high places, improvised, negotiated, resolved conflicts and worked together.  If 3 people as prickly as we are can do this, then most any family can do this.

I think, for me and perhaps Clare too, the most important thing we've gotten is what we've given Lily.  Not just a sense of what this country has in it, but also, hopefully, the general knowledge or feeling that there are other places out there she can go.  We hope that, when the time comes, she won't be afraid to venture out there to parts unknown because she's already seen so much of what's out there that she know it'll likely be ok wherever she chooses.

So, Clare will keep up the final leg of the trip and I'll become a reader.  I can honestly say that I don't want to end this yet, but that's just how it works.  I talked at the beginning about the possibility of being the Loud family from that very first reality show on PBS in the 70s that disintegrated on film, or the Griswold's of National Lampoon fame.  Now I can say that we did well, that we didn't disintegrate or have too many disasters.  We're a good group and a family of smart and funny people who can get along even when that's the last thing we want to do at the moment.  I guess that knowledge is the best thing the vacation has given me.

Viva Las Vegas! and classy, classy San Diego

We blew into Vegas like a gale force wind, threatening to take the whole town down.   Ok, maybe not exactly.   We rolled into town in a minivan with a 9 year old, threatening to be really cranky from the long drive from the Grand Canyon.  We didn’t really hit Vegas with any intent of doing anything but resting, the road from St. George to Vegas is a whole lotta nuthin’ but hot.  We had just camped at the North Rim, so we went as diametrically opposed to that experience as we could.

From getting served frozen lemonade slushies while in the pool, to the buffet at the Mirage with 13 different food stations, to the aquarium at the Mirage, the canal IN the Venetian, the changing sky and Trevi fountain in Caesars and the glass flowers, giant birds and snails made of real flowers and the dancing fountains at the Bellagio, we showed Lily how absurdly over the top we can do things here.  In Moab, we had rafted down the Colorado, some parts of which were too shallow to swim in.  That being the primary source of water for Vegas, and so many other cities, is just too mind blowing.  Thankfully, she didn’t ask/comment too much on the more adult portions of Vegas that are all around.  The ads for girls directly to your room, etc.  She was still more fascinated by the candy store with the 5 lb box of Mike and Ikes.  Oh, and the slot machines.  She was drawn in by all the video slots.  She asked how old she had to be to gamble in Vegas.  Yeah, I can see what’s coming. 

We left Vegas yesterday, after the breakfast buffet at the Luxor, just to show her the other end of the strip.  Know how I said there’s nothing between St. George and Vegas?  There’s less between Vegas and San Diego.  That was the most boring and annoying drive of this trip (the part with all of us, at least).  From Sioux Falls through Vegas, if I was coming up on someone in the left lane, they got over.  I returned the favor.  The moment we hit the California line, people just camped in their lane at whatever speed they felt like and be damned if they’d move.  All of a sudden I’m on the beltway, but with less interesting scenery and 220 miles of it to go through. 

The things you hear about the weather in San Diego are true so far.  Warm, clear, light breeze.  The hotel that Clare booked us into has been perfectly located.  5 minutes from the Old Town section where we had excellent sushi with my nephew Eric who lives here.  10 minutes from the San Diego Zoo where we spend most of today.  World class Zoo, even if you do have to pay. 

5 minutes away from Mission Beach. 

Today is our 14^th wedding anniversary. We’re going out to a nice dinner at the restaurant my nephew works at.  We’re coming to the end of the family portion of this vacation, with Santa Monica tomorrow and flying back Friday night.  All of us are actually a little sad about that, which means that Clare did a magnificent job of planning this thing.  It’s been better than I ever thought it would be. 

Remember what I said about the west being Big?

Nothing demonstrates that more than the Grand Canyon.  The thing is indescribably vast.  It overwhelms when you come to it.  That actually might work against it for staying there more than a day or two.  You drive for an hour to pull up to a viewpoint that looks incrementally different than the last one because you just can’t go far enough to really change the perspective.  You could, if you were simultaneously stupid, crazy, and suicidal, ride a mule into the canyon a mile down so you could get really hot if you survive the trip down. 

The North Rim is higher and more wooded than the South Rim.  It’s cooler and, in our case, rainier.  We put the tent through its paces this time, I’ll say.  We got to the canyon on Saturday under ominous skies and had enough time to set the tent up.  I suggested we wait to set up the beds in case we needed to spend time in the tent during the rain.  Score one for John. When the rain started, we set up the 3 chairs and a table in the tent and played Chinese checkers quite comfortably thank you very much.  That rain was brief and we were able to go to the Lodge for a family photo op:

                     

Sunday was a day for the aforementioned hour drive to a spot 25 miles away where you could walk out on this ridiculous promontory and see the Colorado River in the distance while fearing for your life.  There’s also a nearby place set aside for weddings.  It’s basically a bunch of log benches facing the canyon.  I see several issues with this idea.  It’s an easy 2 hour drive from the closest thing called a town, the minister has to stand with his/her back to the canyon, so they can’t see how far they are from the edge, and the references to taking the leap/plunge in getting married can be all too literal. 

Back at the campsite, the clouds became ominous again, so we packed all our stuff away and headed to the lodge where we had dinner reservations a couple hours later.  The thunderstorm in the canyon was spectacular from the huge windows of the lodge.  You could see lightning strikes and the sides of the canyon were richer and deeper.  The storm ended right about the time our table next to the picture window was ready.  There happened to be a quite lovely double rainbow that dove down into the canyon right outside, so every asshole with a camera crowded around our table to take a picture.  GET THE HELL AWAY FROM US!  This is America, we made it big like this so we didn’t have to be touching all over each other like you decadent commie hive living European tourist bastards.  Clare whipped out her best “Eat shit and Back off” look and we were left to eat in peace. 

Then it was back to the campsite where it, of course, started raining again, so family games and bedtime soon followed.  Thankfully, it was dry this morning when we packed up, ending the camping portion of our program.  Lily was actually a little sad about that, so we must have done it right.  We’re on the way to Vegas now, for one night then on to the final stretch in San Diego and LA.  I just had my first ever IN-N-OUT burger and it was pretty good.  I’ve been spoiled by 5 Guys and the gourmet joints back home, but now I’ve had one and the fries were pretty good too.  

On to the bright lights and hot heat.

Zion

                Clare’s executive decision to not camp in Zion due to the weather paid off big time.  The only thing is, not for the reason we thought.  The 109 degree days didn’t appear.  The thunderstorms every day, however, more than made up for the lack of heat.  The Hampton Inn in Springdale worked out very nicely as a substitute. 

                Zion is a fascinating combination of terrains in one park.  On the way in from  Bryce, you go through the Checkerboard Mesa area, desert with slickrock hills and cliffs.  It’s a great area to climb, just difficult enough to be fun, but just easy enough not to kill yourself. 

Then the tunnels, including the mile long one that puts you out at a canyon that you make your way down the side of to the parts of Zion that people mainly come to see.

  

You can’t drive in the main part of the canyon anymore, it’s all shuttle buses, which actually makes it much nicer, as there are not so many idiots on the road.  We took the shuttle as far as you can go, up to the Riverwalk trail.  This leads to the N     arrows, which is a “trail” that basically goes in the river up the canyon until it, of course, narrows into a slot canyon.  It’s prone to flash floods.  Did I mention the thunderstorms?  So that and the lack of desire to get our shoes/socks/pants wet meant we were quite satisfied with the Riverwalk.  It’s a lovely little mile long walk along the shores of the river with trees and grass and then the towering rock walls of the canyon around you.  There are areas of “weeping” rock, where you can see the water coming out of the cracks, and dripping down the side of the wall into a little rainforesty type area at the bottom. 

We did two other hikes in Zion, the Grottoes which is basically just a trail by the side of the road, the only interesting bits being the doe and the wild turkey alongside the trail.  The Emerald pools trail was much more interesting.  We only did the lower trail, there are hard hiking limits with a this family.  At the end of the trail, there’s a “waterfall”(more like a light rain) of about 50 feet into a pool of water at the bottom.  You can stand in the drops and cool off.  You can also see a 2ftX3ft section of the rock wall fall down the hill onto the trail, just as people had walked by.  Erosion still happens people.

  

The rest of our days were spent in the pool or the air conditioned room.  We, as a family, can recommend MeMe’s café in Springdale for some good food.  They made some crepes that were not remotely as frou-frou as you might think they’d be.  The Meat Lovers had ham, bacon, turkey and eggs.  Very good.  Espresso is very big out here, they have little espresso wagons in places.  We’ve seen more shave ice here than in Hawaii. 

As I type this, we’ve just crossed into Arizona (so we are not completely sure what time it is, since Arizona doesn’t recognize the same time zones) on the way to the Grand Canyon north rim, for our final round of camping.  The first round went really well, and we’re feeling pretty good about the camping at the Grand Canyon, as long as it doesn’t rain. We’ll let you know how it goes.  

Contemplations from a National Park Lodge

Clare here. It’s been a while since we’ve posted, but Jesus we’ve done a lot of stuff. Mostly under the guise of chasing shade. The West may have no humidity, but you’re a mile/mile-and-a-half closer to the sun, which makes up the difference… unless you have shade. 

If you don’t have shade, you are no man.

That again, there is something to be said for the East Coast. Nosebleeds are only in the winter, moisturizer isn’t needed all that much, fewer hippies, wood doesn’t burn in .001 seconds, and water doesn’t cost $100,000/gallon. But other than that, dude, I don’t know…

Rest of Moab

All that said, we had a sweet suite at the Gonzo Inn in Moab, plus a pool, which was great for siesta. Since it got above 100°F during the day, we’d go out early in the morning (up at 6:30 even though dawn was 5:30) and get out. Back after lunch, then out again for dinner once the sun headed down.

The next day we went rafting on the Colorado, which was very zen. The rapids were mostly Class -1, so we could get out of the boat and just float down the river, pee if need be, knowing that this 20-ft wide stream is the water supply for all of southern California, Nevada, and I believe Arizona. OOPS! But seriously, good GOD, that is THEIR ENTIRE WATER SUPPLY.

Onward to Bryce

The next day was a 5+ hour drive to Bryce Canyon… basically 2-lane roads across southern Utah and the most beautiful and UNGODLY frightening road… UT12 between Boulder and Escalante is basically a ridge atop a mountain. For about ½ mile, sheer cliffs on either side – of course no guardrail and no place to pull off. Also the obligatory stop at a very cool pulloff where you can see miles in the distance; a ton of petrified sand dunes. Lily was NOT impressed. So, back in the car to the DVD player.

Once again, Capitol Reef NP gets short shrift… time enough to get a WPA retro poster and see petroglyphs, which the kid absolutely adored. Someday I will spend more time here.

Heavy Breathing

Bryce Canyon is at 8,000 feet, an additional challenge for us mouth breathers. Got a cool campsite in an RV loop… something I highly recommend, since RV types don’t use the public bathrooms that much, and they stay to their RV’s and don’t make much noise. John had bought a metric ton of groceries, so we are set for the next week or so.

Also at 8,000 feet:

• 1.  it gets to the mid-40s at night, so those of us who don’t have sleeping bags rated to 35°F will be a lil chilly.  : >
• 2.       the night sky is awesome; you can see the Milky Way.
• 3.       Running is a little more challenging, but you get used to it (this is all John; and kudos to running at 6:30am at 8,000 feet. I’m sure as hell not doing that.)

The next morning, we made Lily hike the Queen’s Garden trail, an “easy” hike that we back east call strenuous. Cool tunnels tho.

Shade, redux

Conversely, shade isn’t gonna help you if you’re camping in 106°F weather, which is supposed to be the temp today in Zion NP. Our plan was to head there today, but I’m sure as hell not going to camp in that heat, so I canceled our 3-night site reservation (seriously, in a van! Down by the river!!) and booked a hotel in Springdale (just outside Zion) for 2 nights; we managed to swing another campsite here in Bryce for tonight. Because really, everyone wants to stay another night in Bryce, because it’s so literally and figuratively cool.

That was my evening planning; those of you who know how uptight I am about planning know that I hated to change plans… Then again, we’re buying 2 days of A/C + pool. Who can argue with that. Plus I can have a shower to myself (camp bathhouse people, let’s keep it PG here).

As for me now, I’m in the cool of the lodge writing all this down, charging up both phones, a laptop, and a standalone car charger (follow that?) that I drained already while powering up my phone a couple of days ago. Basically I’m taxing the hell out of this 90-yr old lodge. You’d think they’d have outlets at RV sites. Hmph.

John and Lily are on a 2-hour horseback ride through the hoodoos. I hope they find some shade. I may find some ice cream.  ; >

PS

I will say we’ve met only a handful of people crazy enough to drive here from the East Coast. Mostly from Florida, but a handful from PA, CT, NJ, and MA. Only one other plate from Virginia we’ve seen on our travels. No one else is this nuts I guess.

 

Later that day…

John here… his mule wanted to walk on the ABSOLUTE EDGE of that canyon, then take a left. His feet were over the canyon. He wishes to emphasize how freaked out he was about this, and the kid lost it also, but waited until the bottom of the canyon. She dealt with it pretty well, resplendent in her Stetson we bought for her last year in Yellowstone. Yes, I realize how that sounded.

“Cash” – the cowboy who can only get away with a name like that out here – told the worst jokes ever in the history of cowboydom.

Aaaaaaaannnnddd.... scene.

Lazy River

Yesterday was the last full day in Moab, so we took it easy.  We took an early morning raft trip down the Colorado (no whitewater) followed by lunch at La Hacienda, our traditional stop in Moab for Mexican.
We spent the rest of the day reading, napping, and preparing for camping week, which starts today in Bryce.  Last night I went grocery shopping for the week and, after an hour and a half in the crowded store, I was about to go all East Coast on these sons of bitches.  MOVE! You can see that my vacation has mellowed me.

 So the adventure truly begins today.  5 hour drive and then setting up the tent.  I am sure it will go just peachily. Stay tuned folks, the fun is just beginning.

Moab

It's all about scale.  The west is BIG.  I don't mean big like wide or covering a lot of square miles, though that is certainly true.  The west is just BIG.  The sky is big, the prairies/deserts are big.  The gaps between not just cities or towns, but pretty much any clump of human beings is big.  But the most awesome parts of the west that are big are the rocks.  Arches and Canyonlands today.

Arches is billions of tons of fun. and sweat.  We hiked to Delicate Arch this morning, early to try and beat the heat.  Lily complained and sulked and lagged, but Lily also made it to the top.  The trail is a mile and a half uphill much of  it across rock.  It was 9 when we started, so it wasn't the worst of the day, but it was heating up.  To her credit, when we got to the Arch, we were clambering all over the rocks.  She didn't show nearly as much fear of the several hundred foot drop next to the arch as i felt was prudent.

The way back down was much more fun as we climbed everything we could.  Then we went to Double Arch for more climbing.
Clare has acquired the hobby of collecting reproduction WPA National Park Posters and the Arches visitor center was a gold mine.  She only collects those of places she's been and she was able to get Arches, Canyonlands and Monument Valley(which is great because we'll be damned before we'll go to that miserable place again).

 After lunch and pool and complimentary cookies c/o  the Gonzo Inn, we headed to Canyonlands and a different lesson in scale.  Canyonlands has immense views of awe inspiring mountains, buttes, canyons valleys and deserts all in one spot. The fall from the mesa that is Canyonlands isn't hundreds, it's thousands of feet.  And for some reason today the wind was vicious, and it blew dust into your eyes, so you were half blind standing on a 2200 ft tall rock with high winds trying to blow you over.  I highly recommend it.

People use the word "Awesome" a lot.  99 percent of the time it's bullshit.  This time it isn't.

Tomorrow we raft down the river in the morning and prepare for the camping week of our trip in bryce, zion and Grand Canyon.  That's another place the exposes the language as inadequate to the task of describing the scene.  You don't have to like nature or hiking or hippies or any of that shit to be awed by this place.

To use the Universe or Space or planets as a guide to give you perspective on how small you really are, you have to use your imagination.  This place just hits you in the face with it, no imagining necessary.  You're small, and all you have to do to see it is stand here and look at all this BIG.

Cuz Baby you're a firework

Fourth of July on a rooftop deck near Coors Field was, by volume, the best fireworks show I've seen.  There were easily more than 15 separate full scale shows going on simultaneously that we could see without moving.  Add the grilled brats that had been put in their casings only a few hours prior and you have a recipe for a great day.  Thanks again to all our Denver/ Boulder friends for a great break from the road.

Now on to Moab for the first desert portion of the trip.  But first, a trip through the Rockies.

So I am writing and posting this using the smartphone that I just took the mountain photo with after booking a rafting trip for Sunday on it.  You really don't need preparation for trips much anymore.

The next few days will be climbing rocks, breathing heavily, fearing heights and hydrating.  I can't wait.

You get what you get

Nothing touristy today, because we did nothing touristy.

Expectations.  I'm of the opinion that they are mostly useless. I have friends who've said that if they had gotten what they wanted when they were younger they would have sold themselves short.  Our time in Denver has embodied that idea.

Friendships in elementary school are usually ephemeral things, shifting alliances where proximity outweighs compatibility.  We hoped that Lily and Lukas would enjoy each other's company, but a year is a long time to be away from one another.  At 9/10, interests change and divisions spring up all over, especially between boys and girls.  Expectations are tempered, lowered.  The reality is that it's like it's been a day.  They make up games to play and rag on each other like no time has passed, as I mentioned yesterday.  Lily spent most of the day with Lukas today from noon til the fireworks at Coors field ended at 11pm.  Expectations are blown away.  Dinner last night with the Rizvis (Lukas' parents) and time together tonight on the rooftop garden watching the fireworks, right where we were before they left.  The comfort and warmth of the familiar rhythms take no time to return.

After I dropped Lily off in Boulder at noon, I met my old friend, Phil, for lunch.  We've not seen or spoken to each other in over 30 years.  Middle and high school friendships can be ephemeral too.  I had no idea how it would go, expectations are lowered.  We sit down in the restaurant and start chatting, the waitress comes over, we're not ready, we're just talking.  A few minutes later the waitress comes back over, we're not ready, we're just talking.  A few minutes later, same thing, she rightfully gives up.  When we finally do decide to order, we have to flag her down because she's just moved on.  It's like not a day has passed.  We didn't talk about what we've done between high school and now more than a few minutes.  We talked about who we are, what we think about things, our relationships with our wives and daughters,the philosophy of science and the role dumb luck plays in our lives and the advantages we have based on nothing we've done and the responsibility and the weight of being seen as an authority on something, whether it's based on actual knowledge or just the perception created by speaking confidently.  3 hours of just great conversation.  Expectations are blown away.

Clare and Greg are wrapped up in conversation, forgetting the boiling potatoes for the potato salad, overcooking them to the point where had to be thrown out.  Dinner with the 4 of us when Greg and Heather lived in Virginia were filled with long and rambling and profane conversations full of laughter, and tonight was like no time had passed there.

 My life is better than I've had any right to expect, given where I came from and many of the things I've done.  Today was just another one of those days where I got more than I thought I would.

Sorry to get maudlin, but I get grateful sometimes and stuff like this happens.

Tomorrow is another day of hanging around, eating good food and watching stuff blow up before the 6 hour drive to Moab.  Happy 4th of July everybody.

Friends in high places

Today we came into Denver, where we'll be for the next few days.  This is a time for old friends for each of us.

We're here staying with Clare's friends Greg and Heather.  Greg and Clare worked together at AOL.  Greg moved out here not that long ago, maybe 2 years, i could be wrong.  He's gone native in a big way. Broncos fan, goes to Rockies games, built an infill development house in Denver within walking distance of downtown.    I'll get a picture on here from his rooftop garden, which is a fabulous thing to have, especially with a view of the area where there will be fireworks happening tomorrow and on the 4th.

Lily got to play today with Lukas, the boy who lived across the street from us for 4 or 5 years.  Lily and Lukas played together most days, making up games of Monopoly with 3X5 cards they'd put all over the house, turning it into a huge game board, or just bugging each other with the question "What do you want to do?"  When they got together today, is was if no days had passed.  Friends like that are rare and can last a lifetime.

I'm going to see a friend I haven't seen in over 30 years tomorrow.  Phil Plait, a.k.a. the Bad Astronomer, and I were friends from 6th grade through most of high school.  We were both going to be scientists, astronomers.  We were in the Science club and the Science Fiction club together.  He focused on his goal and I focused on girls and drinking.  He got his degree, worked on the Hubble telescope, turned a blog into a gig with Discovery, Slate, books and a TV show or two.  Make no mistake, i'm in a great place and am an extremely lucky man, but that's sort of the point.  I'm extremely lucky to not have my misspent youth keep me from the good life I have now.  Phil followed his goal and didn't have to be extremely lucky.  He did the legwork and got the rewards.  He did still go bald though, so there.  So kids, stay in school, pick a direction and focus on it, and don't be afraid to pursue your dream, or any dream, maybe you're not much of a dreamer, I don't know, stop asking me all these questions!

Anyway, we'll try to post anything interesting that happens.


In the meantime,I think I'll do something random that'll probably just irritate Clare (I know it will irritate my friend Stacy):
Here's a picture of Britney Spears:

Badlands to Cheyenne, every terrain you can think of.

Yesterday's trek started in the Badlands, went through the mountains then underground, and across the prairie to Cheyenne Wyoming.  The road(16A) from Keystone SD to Wind Cave is what you pretended you were doing when you drove those little cars on rails at Busch Gardens or Kings Dominion.  The GPS actually showed spirals and loops.  There were wooden bridges that you drove under, curled around and then drove across.  There were one lane tunnels blasted through the rock that idiots would stand in, blocking traffic taking pictures.   It would be a great road for motorcycles, as long as it was closed to traffic coming the other way, otherwise it would be too brief a ride.

One thing we've decided this trip is that a picnic is where you make it.  We don't need no stinkin' picnic tables.  Under a Juniper tree in Badlands or on a stone fence in Wind Cave work just fine.  Let the other tourists compete and jockey for the tables, to hell with them.
Wind Cave is the 6th largest discovered cave system in the world, it's as flashy as Luray, but it's cool and dark and has passages everywhere that you could easily get lost and die in.  We only went down about 150 ft, but the caves go as deep as 500 feet below the surface.  It was perfect for me, cool and damp and dark, just how I like it.  There's nothing like the dark of a cave when they turn out the lights.

After Wind Cave, it was across the prairie to Ft. Laramie, WY.  Along the way there were antelope, bison out the wazoo, and prairie dogs being as stinkin' cute as they could be.  Ft. Laramie is your basic half restored old frontier fort/town etc.  They've done a nice job with the buildings, especially the store and the long calvary barracks are pretty cool.  Here, Lily had her first Sarsparilla.  Her first question? How is this different from root beer.  I had to look it up.  From what i read, they're the same but root beer has more stuff in it.  Sioux City Sarsparilla is really good though, if you are of that persuasion.

Then a brief 110 mile trip to Cheyenne, with a stop in Guernsey to see some of the ruts cut into the rock by the wagons going west along the Oregon Trail 150 years ago.  After a lovely Mexican dinner at Guadalajara, it was crash city baby.  Out like a light.

The Odyssey has done over 2000 miles on this trip so far, it's really hard to believe this is only Day 4 for Lily and I, Day 7 for Clare.  Denver tonight, where we'll see Clare's old friends and Lily's old friend and maybe, just maybe, my friend from Junior high who I haven't seen in 30 years.  There won't be as much travelogue, we're slowing down a bit before the Moab/Bryce/Zion/Grand Canyon run.

I did want to mention the place we ate in Keystone SD, the town there is reminds us of Jackson Hole, or Cherokee NC, basically a much smaller Pigeon Forge touristy, kitschy area.  Ruby's House is absolutely of that ilk, a saloon theme, even to the point of the bar waitress walking around in one of those corsets you saw in old Western movies.  The food was good though, and if you embrace the kitsch, it's a very good place to go.

Dakota spanning

From one side of SD to the other today.  From prairie to badlands to the mountaintop all in one day.  We saw horsies, and cowses, and a Swift Fox, and a bighorn sheep and a prairie dog (eeeep).  There was a sculpture of a bull's head with enormous horns on the side of the road that looked so much like the golden calf the israelites made in the Ten Commandments, that I expected Charlton Heston to pop over the hill and start winging tablets all over the place.

 Lily got her first taste of the west in the Badlands National Park.  Climbing the rocks, no fences or railings or people to tell you not to kill yourself.  The Badlands feel like a smaller version of Bryce and a small taste of Canyonlands.

Then Wall Drug, which is South Dakota's answer to South of the Border, though i'm not sure who asked that question.  We got Lil' her crappy souvenir that she will forget she has by tomorrow morning and some really good milkshakes.  There was a T-Rex and one of those old time shooting galleries like at the beach when i was a kid.  The ones where you didn't win anything, but if you hit the target a coffin would open and a skeleton would pop out or the windmill would start spinning.  What i found out is that Clare is apparently a crack shot.  Have to file that info away for a rainy day.

The final stop of the day was Mt. Rushmore.  Several themes emerged.  We're not completely sure why Teddy Roosevelt is on that mountain.  There was a 20 minute film presentation about all 4 guys and their explanation of Teddy was patently unconvincing.  Another theme, for me, is that the other 3 guys are easily the greatest Americans ever.  Washington was repeatedly given choices that would have made him extremely powerful and he turned them aside so that the experiment of a government based on principles had a chance.  Jefferson  announced the arrival of this govt in the Declaration of Independence, then doubled the size of the place in one fell swoop.  Lincoln was simply the nation's martyr and conscience.   Now, it doesn't take much to make a case that these guys were serious assholes too, the whole Sally Jennings thing, suspending habeas corpus, etc., whatever Washington did wrong that i never learned because I went to an American school.., but we're all assholes.  How many of us assholes would take the risks they took and do the things they did and suffer the way Lincoln did?  I'm a very patriotic person, I love the country American can be and sometimes is,  even though I see the fallacy inherent in nationalism.  Every time i see the country  be great, i hear the echoes of Washington, Jefferson and Lincoln in whatever it is we're doing.  Humble America, thoughtful America, fair America, forgiving America, the land of opportunity America, that's those guys.  Not some jingoistic claptrap about how at least we know we're free.  We're a shitload more than free when we're on our game.

Ok, you didn't ask for my opinion, but that's never stopped me before.