Yeah, They're Here.

After the 3rd long day of driving, I would have lost my mind were it not for books on CD. I listened to The Art of Racing in the Rain from Ohio to Chicago, which meant that I was bawling my eyes out through most of Chicago. More staid fare next in the form of Salt, Sugar, Fat, which is 15 (!!) CDs and I'm on #6. John says he's up for it, but we'll see. But all the soda talk made me crave a Dr Pepper when I stopped for lunch (ha! it worked).

Wisconsin and Minnesota did not disappoint, as I saw lots of rolling hills, few trucks (little traffic for that matter), and hundreds of miles of straightaways. Plus I crossed what I believe are the headwaters (?) of the Mississippi on the Minnesota border.

The landscape started to even out after that, though.... the rolling farmland started to morph to prairie (starting = in the next 300 miles). 

And I'm glad John insisted on going to Falls Park... that was pretty cool. Like a miniature Great Falls in the middle of the city. Lily got to work out energy not spent sitting on planes, and I got the first vacation-like experience since I left 3 days ago.

And of course the weather was perfect.

More adventures await today... once they wake up.

The Coming Together

Today the true vacation finally began.  Lily and I left the house at 7am to get to National for our flight to Denver.  The flights themselves were uneventful, filled with the standard babies crying and airline attempts at gouging for crappy snacks and signing people up for credit cards.  The advertising pisses me off the same way that seeing a commercial  in the movie theater before the movie for the first time pissed me off.  That's dirty pool, man.

The 4 hour layover was eventful in a few ways.  Lily and I pigged out on Wolfgang Puck, Caramel Apples dipped in M&Ms, and marshmallows dipped in very rich milk chocolate.  We also got punchy and lost our minds together at the same time.  And those of you who also see my facebook posts know that the Denver airport was losing Sutcliffes at an alarming rate!

Then the slow motion running in a field toward each other culminating in the big spinny hug happened in the Sioux Falls airport.  We were a family again!  We didn't even argue or yell at Lily for never getting out of the damned car in a reasonable amount of time for a good half an hour after we were reunited.  Man that kid can take a year doing anything!

We didn't get adventurous for our dinner tonight, Clare preferred the standard American/midwestern fare of Perkins, even though there was a Pho option AND an Ethiopian option in Sioux Falls.  Only 1 of each in the yellow pages, but given my expectation was ZERO there was infinityzillion percent more of those places than i thought there'd be. (that's advanced statistics there)

Scenic Sioux Falls is reminiscent of Helena Montana, to me. Just the look of the roads, the western looking buildings, the hills, the Taco Johns(6 pack and a pound, 8.49), takes me back.   There are actual falls here too.  They are in a lovely park that smells ever so much like POOP.  Not like farm cow or pig or even chicken poop.  We're talking "oh-no-he-didn't-just-do-that-in-that-bush" homeless guy downtown kind of poop here.  Classy this blog, huh?  Can't tell it's John doing it now, can you?

Other than the atmospherics, the park was gorgeous, the weather was spectacular, the 3 60+ year old guys in the cover band doing Frankie Valli and Orleans and other oldies were pretty good and the rocks were eminently climbable for Lily.  It was a really good start to the family vacation.

Song for the day was Firework by Katy Perry.  You've not seen nuthin' till you've seen me bust a move to that while driving the minivan through Sioux Falls.  I'll let Clare post her day, since she and Lil are passed out right now.  Travel stats:  12 hours travel time from the house in Oakton to the minivan in Sioux Falls.  We travelled to the Mountain time zone, then back to Central.  Clare did send me a cool picture of crossing the Mississippi.

Tomorrow we go see the Presidents, I hope Lil's not disappointed that they won't be racing.

The Eye of Sauron Does Not Reach Wisconsin

In the home stretch now! The trip from Toledo to Madison was tough - all turnpikes and thunderstorms, with a migraine to boot. But I swear, once I crossed the Wisconsin state line, the storms moved on, there were no more tolls, and it was all green grass and blue sky. And since I'm judging the states I pass through by my experience on their interstates, Wisconsin feels like the holy land. Seriously, it was one big toll road from Breezewood, PA to the Wisconsin state line, which means I condemn all states in between, with the possible exception of Indiana, which was actually had pretty countryside and should have known better. Thank christ I filled up the EZPass before I left; they all take it.

I could see the Willis (used to be Sears but guess who reminded me of the name change) Tower from Hammond, Indiana, home of the Christmas Story (filmed in Cleveland but supposed to be set in Hammond), which is seems to be just an industrial suburb of Chicago.

In fact, when I crossed the "state" line, a huge sign told me "Welcome to Chicago! Mayor Rahm Emanuel," which told me "you're in Chicago, now, bitch. Better watch yourself. That "Illinois" shit can wait until you're well west of here." This Tower is so huge you can see it for dozens of miles, which is I guess the intent, but really, the antennae on top of it really should have an eye so Rahm can mayor with extreme malice. Huge traffic backup of course - the through-way to points west was through Chicago (who designed that??), so if I missed DC traffic, it was quickly resolved.

And guess what? The only car to cut me off in that was a silver Odyssey from..Maryland.

OK, John and Lil's flight on Perry the Puffin is in the air and I must breakfast and leave.

Contain Yourself...

'cause I can't tell you anything about a Marriott in Ohio that you couldn't already deduce.

I can tell you that I was a pile of anxiety before I left... couldn't eat for 2 days and probably freaked out my coworkers. So bad in fact that John took over packing the van. And as predicted, I felt better once I got a couple of states behind me.

But now I'm beat... and I'm gonna sit alone in a hotel room... with air-conditioning... and a diet Sprite.*

Things I didn't think I'd see:
- 2 entire turnpikes under construction
- 3 semis strung together
- an actual auto plant outside Lordsburg, Ohio. Home of the Chevy Cruze!
- a metric f'ton of corn in Ohio
- an actual Orange Julius
- a really nice rest stop on I-70 in Md, right on the Appalachian Trail.

Things I never want to do again:
- hydroplaning on the Penn Turnpike in a thunderstorm. With trucks. Under construction.

Best suitable music for today:
- ZZ Top seems to synch with Pennsylvania somehow.

More interesting posts to come... this is really the boring stretch.

* bonus points to those who can name the movie from whence this quote comes

An Odyssey… in the Odyssey

If you’re coming here, you know that J and I are taking a pretty long road trip to California and back. And by soon, I mean Thursday. Why in God’s name are we doing this?? Well, because it’s there, frankly, and a road trip to Patagonia* is probably not the safest thing to do at present. 

Along the way we’ll stop by at least 12 national parks (and camp in 3), hike in all sorts of terrain, experience temperatures from the 50s through the 110s, visit friends, and generally chill the F out. As you may or may not know, I’m a nut about national parks and monuments, and we’re excited to show L the places her parents love to visit and the rest of the US.

The plan is for me to drive out and meet J and the kid at the airport in Sioux Falls, SD on Saturday. From there, we’ll head to Mount Rushmore, then down to Denver where suddenly** several friends have moved, through Utah and its myriad national parks, Vegas, San Diego, and finally, LA. J and L will fly out of LA while at the same time, my friend K will fly in to LAX and graciously accompany me on the trip back to VA.

When I tell people what we’re doing, most are incredulous, some are envious, and some think we’re insane. But really, there’s nothing stopping anyone from doing the same thing... you just get in the car, and go west. Life is short. Your phone has a GPS.

As for the driving part, I’m excited to not have to pack for a plane, or get on a plane, or deal with a plane. The aptly-named Odyssey seats 8 and can easily handle a family of 3 + camping gear, and it’s mostly packed now. Fortunately, I like driving (we’ll log around 7000 miles), but I understand people who don’t.

As for me, I’m excited to the point of nausea. It will be better once I’m on the road.

*that’s around the southernmost point in Argentina. There are several blogs written by people who have taken the journey, which invariably includes buying off corrupt cops in Central and South America. Pass.

**is Colorado to the 21st century what California was to the 20th? It seems THE place to go.

John here:

This is the blog, la la la, 

John-Clare's blog, la la la

So when Lily was little, we drove her 1100 miles around California until she got so sick of it that she cried 2 hours straight in a traffic jam and then all night the last night in the hotel.  When she was older, we took her for 2 weeks to Italy and drove her around until she barfed in the car and almost died of boredom in Umbria.  To show how much we've learned, we're taking Lily on a 3 week driving vacation from South Dakota to LA!!!!!  We learn good, don't we?

Those of you who are old enough might remember "An American Family", featuring the Louds.  Then, of course, there's National Lampoon's Vacation.  And then there's Lord of the Flies.  Anyone want to make a bet how this one's gonna turn out? We're inviting you in to the descent into the maelstrom!  

I've already been researching fireworks laws in the states we're going through, so somethin's gonna blow up!

Join us, won't you?